.

The Heartbreaker, The Makeover

2009-11-08T19:47:00.001-08:00

I've never heard someone say 'I love you' so much at once.
I've never heard someone say 'I love you' so much in one night.
I've never heard someone say 'you're mine' so much in one conversation.
I've never heard someone say 'aku sayang kamu' so much in one sleep.

I've never kissed anyone so much at once.
I've never kissed anyone so much in one night.
I've never kissed anyone so much in one sleep.

I've never loved anyone so crazy in this short amount of time we've been in.
I've never let anyone have me this entirely.
I've never let anyone hurt me so much at once.
This is crazy. Love is crazy.
You know, when it comes to love, anything is possible and we'll just have too much to talk about and say. It gets boring sometimes. But when it's on fire, boy you're up for anything.

Seduced

2009-11-06T17:56:00.000-08:00

My latest drawing. Talk about killing time.

Sum-mer loving.

2009-11-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

I'm very excited about summer. It's approaching, and some nights have gone warm so it's a good sign I guess. Irregardless, climate change sure does bring illness almost every time. I am currently not so healthy, thanks to the fucking weather.

Anyways, my life's been up and down as always. A lot has been happening since the last update I posted which was after my last visit to Jakarta (June-July, 2009). Can't be bothered to spare the details anymore hhaha

Uni life is actually great, with less deadline attacks it would've been greater, a lot greater. Ck..

Love, however, has been very tough on me lately. It started off splendid, but as relationship goes along with the time passing by, problems started to occur. Maybe it's normal, every relationship goes through some rough paths, but it's just getting too much to handle. I really hope I could cope with this and I hope we last.

I've been enjoying buying cupcakes and eat out in the sun that comes along with the summer breeze. I love Melbourne's flares. Especially when I have to squint my eyes when it hits my face. We're summer flings.
Here I introduce you to a very abstractly funny book I read towards summer, it's called Up The Tree In The Park At Night With A Hedgehog. It's brutal but funny with a hint of guilty pleasure. I finished it already, and I can pass it to you if you want to have a read (you know how to reach me, drop a msg =} )

Tastes like a crummy red wine

2009-07-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

5:06 AM.
An empty hope. A broken shield.
A girl with a handful of dope, in the middle of the field.
I chase it long enough to finally stop and stare far down, grab a thought of reality.
Those are all lies. It' a lie.

I cross the river, you cross my mind.
I thought it would go away, but it always seem to rewind.
The wall of guts you built for years,
and a ball of numbness that you created in just a couple of blinks.
Can't you see I'm tired shedding tears?
Will you stop and come real, if in the next two hours I'll be burning love burning inks,
save you dusts of euphoric whispers, to keep you satisfy.

The path my hands follow on surfaces of you morning pale skin,
the way I lend my tongue on yours,
to keep your mind around me.
To inject my shadows for hours,
and engage threads of spells in places where it should be.

Another heart to heart isn't enough.
Another glass of red wine I thought would compensate.
Tastes pure bitter, with a hint of sour flushes. Tastes different.
You taste different.

In to you, above you, under you, beneath you, on top of you.
Love is in a different level of perfection, of purity.
Love is in a sealed envelope just in case.
Love is deeper than the ocean.
Love should be warm, not cold.
Love is when the red wine turns super sweet.
Love is..

what?

My First Exhibition@ Teras Coffee and Photography.

2009-07-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

One night my friend Bondan ym-ed me. I was back home, it was last month. He told me he had accomplished one big step to pursue his dream to become a musician. Check out his myspace page. He makes pretty easy musics and very relaxing to listen to. Not bad, B! And the talk led him to telling me about his next gig which was going to be at Teras Coffee, this new caffee that our friend Ditya and Nazmi owned. And then he was telling me about this small photography exhibition that's coming in pair with his gig, and asked me to join it. Well I was just giving it a shot, submitting two three photos, and two days after Ditya emailed me saying that my photographs were selected to be displayed in the exhibition. So here are some of the pictures i took from the exhibition. And I get to use the studio for 2 hours for free! thanks Dityaa, I'd use the opportunity next time I'm in Jkt [we made a deal to do a proper shoot anyway. He's such a good buddie :)]. The exhibition started June 20th for about a month, so it will approximately end around July 20th or something I can't remember. And the interview for JakTV went okay. Hihihi..

Check Teras Coffee,out, it's a great place to chill. The food and drinks are are unbelievably delicious. My favs: Nasi Goreng Kambing and Hot Peach Tea.

IVM [May 2009]

2009-07-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of this music event called Indonesian Versus Malaysian. A bands battle that surprisingly turned out to be awesome. I have a major crush on Wandering Spirit and Supermetronome.

x

Morning coffee and YGKSM

2009-06-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's this morning tradition of ours. He wanted a black bitter coffee I wanted milk sweet coffee and pictures. These are some pictures I took a year ago.

Now that I'm back in town, we will have our tradition again soon. Maybe tomorrow morning. I'd have to check with him. He's a busy man with comic mimics,

don't you think? ;)

Alodita

2009-05-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

I miss my (P)Andra and our Sushi Sour Sally times.
Hope to see you soon.

(Pencil sketch+fineliner)

Psycha-Della

2009-05-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

A sketch of a friend, Della. A traditional sketch+blended textures. I think it becomes my signature. Am glad. x

Yes,

2009-05-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

>Just another tribute to this recent trend around town, the font-on-pictures.
Ya' notice it right? right.

I'm nothing but a fool for your love.

2009-05-08T15:31:00.002-07:00

No matter how hard I try to taste you,
it seems impossible to taste a heart that belongs somewhere else, and that loves more than a single heart being.
Because I don't share my love,
no I don't share my pride,
no I'm never down to compete with your past.
Because you might don't want me to be your last.
I'm nothing but a fool for your love.
I'm nothing but a fool for you.

x

Make Believe

2009-03-12T20:15:00.001-07:00

The world must be very enjoyable at night when the open sky is as clear as a crystal.
Like... like this..

Light a cig (or a spliff is better), do not listen to anything, no IPod no radio nothing, lay around a rooftop or somewhere flat and high, I suggest you to be alone. Take a deep breath. You are about to trip with the open sky.

Name it. Galaxy, nebula, the moon, the stars, milky-way, puffy clouds, cosmos, Arcturus, blobs, comet, Andromeda, all of them. Name it all, things you're curious about. Nature is keeping secrets. And it wont let you know everything about them. You must be wondering about the tiniest bits when you stargaze.

This is how mine was.

I wasn't tempted to sit still on my desk, be on facebook and blogspot all the time. I came across the thought of being dead in the middle of the outer space. I tend to have this weird imaginations when being (or say, feeling) alone. Especially after having some puffs of magic grass too. So I walked out of the house. I didn't know what I was thinking. Being half naked, with a thin folded blanket, a bottle of water and cigarettes, walking to the green field in front of my house. I picked a spot in the middle of the field, spread my blanket and just simply laid on it. I was facing the sky. Oh my I was the lucky one.

The sky looked so perfect to me. Crystal clear, puffy clouds but I can still see through them, all my favorite stars were complete none of them were absent, especially the trios. Yes, it's the three aligned stars I'm talking about. They are very famous don't you think..
And the sky? the sky was stunningly turquoise.

I was just laying there. I refused to take pictures of my stargazing moments. Even though It's very tempting to click the shutter, I chose not to take any picture. I don't want to share my sky too much. I'd keep them private. Just like what galaxy is doing at all time.

One heavy deep breath.
One heavy deep breath.

I saw my pasts.
I saw my pasts.
I saw my pasts.

(1994)
I was four. I lived in a small house. A very small house. My family and I were not rich and I was happy.
I woke up that morning to a pure orange sky. I thought I'm going to die that day. It scared the hell out of me. Then I showered, getting ready for school. I was in elementary. I always showered with hot water.
When the water ran down my hair, my skin, my feet, I fell asleep standing up in the bathtub. It was weird. I dreamed about me and some of my cousins running on a rice field. We were only a youth. Even younger, and we were all crying.
A couple of years later we moved to a bigger house. One time I was showering with my brother, he told me the same thing.
Well I guess now I have a hint of why he's my brother, that we do share bizarre complex minds.
_

(1999)
Primary school. Baron and I made a promise. One day we will surf the outer space. We will become more than just another astronaut. We'd be the ninjas that moon ever needs. We had our childhood moments, It was the furthest we've gone with our imaginations.

We were just a kid.
___

I opened my eyes, to the same turquoise sky that I started my space trip with in the beginning of the night. I cried a little. It was a blast from the past that I never forget. It was sweet, weird and bizarre. I lighted a cig. I inhaled my first puff pretty deep. I felt like I was tearing my lungs apart. But I didn't care.

I closed my eyes again.

I saw my pasts.
I saw my pasts.
I saw my pasts.

A quick rewind of love. Of loves.
I can't find the beginning of it though. it was pretty rough, and my brain hurt. Because it's full of deva ju. Deja vu.
I hate deja vus. They make me lost, in times, in places, in moments.

Love. Lust. Pain. Pleasure.
Love. Lust. Anger. Agony.
Love. Lust. You. Young. Yes.
Love. Lust. Flowers, fuckers, flames.

__

I travelled through time and space. The outer space. The spaces in my mind. I want to know how my brain looked like when I was space tripping that night. I want to see how black and twisted it was. I'm sure.

__

I opened my eyes again, and thank God, I was still waking up to the same turquoise sky and its glowing family.
The night was getting a bit chiller. It's like my stars were suggesting me to go back inside the house, wash my face, wash my feet, finish up my water and go for a real sleep.

One more.

I took my last puff of cig. I was still laying down facing the sky, setting my dramatic minds as free as a bird that night, embracing the wet greasy air. Yes the night was getting cold.

One more. I promised myself.

(2007-2009)
My busiest, hardest, toughest years.
When I grew. When I learned more than I expected. When I loved and lost. When I became something new. But I wasn't living. In fact I am not living yet.

_
I surfed the night sky. One last deep sigh, to my sky, to my friendly stars, to my hidden galaxy.
I cried. I brought a bottle of water, knowing that I will cry I needed it to calm me down.

Opened my eyes.
The sky turned navy blue, with a hint of dusty grey. Beautiful, still.
I wasn't high. Beautiful sounds were rewinding in my brain. I told you we don't need no music.
____

I walked back, went back inside the house.

One day, my friend, one day we will discover nature's most hidden treasures.
Even if that means it's our last day on earth. It's worth living.
Maybe that's when I'm finally living.
I'm not living yet. Not living yet. No.

But I want to believe.
You want to believe.
We all make believes.

One day, look up your own night sky, do not wait for the falling stars. Do not wish for anything. You wouldn't need any wishing.
Die. And see everything beautiful after.

Some updates.

2009-03-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

Hello.

If I force myself to carry on babbling away about my days lately I would possibly end up saying a lot and get lost in sentences myself. So let's just make it like this. I'm just going to list down things that's just so super about my beginning of my 2009.

+ A quick visit home was fine. I need a longer holiday though.
+ I bake more cupcakes, blue cupcakes are my fave.
+ I sing again. When I was back home I was an additional singer for my boyfriend's band for their audition. Just helping them out with one-two songs ;p
+ I paint more. And I add more media towards the process. Smooth-surfaced plywood is beyond awesome. Reminds me of Audrey Kawasaki.
+ I made friends with new awesome people. Yes. You, you, you and you right there.
+ I did a week intern at Studio13 as a graphic designer.
+ Got to see and spend time with my fav people back home as well. Way cooler. And I'm missing each one of them now.
+ More to come. I'm blanked out at the moment.

> 3rd Avenue @Ke Kun
> Andra Chitra Anya. A day full of love with my girls.
> Painting a gorgeous friend Lina Lena.

R-tardness -.-'

2009-01-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

bintang kecil topi saya bundar
Uploaded by dairyproduct

shit abis hahaha

His name is Clinton

2009-01-13T23:04:00.000-08:00

It was a Saturday night I spent doing something I really wanted to do for such a long time. I have been wondering how it feels like to be a beggar on the street, those who plays music instruments and earn money, yes, those people who I usually photographed when walking around Melbourne city. Some do try hard to survive for living, interesting. And some just being too lazy kneeling down with a cap facing up so that people could spare em' some change. Pissing, but sad too.

I was walking around the city with my friend. We dropped by a friend's pad in the city, recorded some silly videos, had a couple of drinks in my fav bar, and we had this idea of spending the rest of the night walking alongside Yarra River. It was my friend's birthday so she didn't want to go home and spend the rest of the night doing nothing. So we bought ourselves a big Lord Of The Fries chips and a bottle of water, I had my camera with me, and we were walking down the alley alongside the river near Swanston st. We didn't realize along our walk we were singing and dancing to this saxophone melodies that came out of nowhere. Being curious enough, tried looking for that sax player that was usually somewhere around there, and then there he was. It's pretty familiar though. We came to, we sat near him, and enjoyed him playing some music all night. It was hilarious. I was dancing all night to whatever he's playing. A free music on a Saturday night. I had fun.

peacock

2009-01-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

I was bored. I've been very very boyish lately. I miss being and looking like a girl. So i put on a quick make up and took self portraits. Oh dear do I look like a shemale? hahaha

Santa threw us a BBQ dinner

2008-12-27T01:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Xmas to those who're celebrating. My parents and my lil' bro are in town. They arrived about 2-3 days ago, and I have been out spending some time with them. My Dad landed me his Nikon F60 I was stoked! I named her Amber. She's beautifully mate gold, and she turns ordinary shots of mine to half-vintage ones with great tones that I do not have to open CS3 and retouch my pictures again. Lovin' her so far.

Me and some friends went for a BBQ dinner at Yarra River. It was great, we brought our own food, the raw meat, vegetarian pasta, beers, shrimps and some others and also the plates, forks, knife and plastic glass, and we grilled the steak and all the raw foods in the BBQ griller that's provided alongside the Yarra River. We had a great dinner, full of butter and sauces. So yumm! We had some puffs and we played soccer for a while afterwards. I forgot how much fun it is to play soccer. It's been ages, I used to be in a team once during junior high, a captain twice. Ayayaaay!

I cut my hair a little bit more, but I cut it wrong this time so now my hair looks so funny. ahaha..I laugh all the time whenever I look at myself in the mirror. xD ..

finally chopped off!

2008-12-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking to cut my hair for such a long time. The ends are super dry and all. I can't get rid of cutting the damaged ends whenever i play with my hair and find some. It's tiring haha sounds gross hahhaa..

But I was thinking to just wait for a while and cut it when I'm back home. The saloons are better in Jakarta. I made this album on facebook with pictures of people with cool short hair styles and asked people to vote which one suits me. The dilemma was on for months.

About a week ago I was about to shower. I was probably out of my mind for a while that night, so I just cut it myself. HAHA fuck waiting I wanted to cut it so badly so I just did.

Nouvelle Vague @ Prince Bandroom

2008-12-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i went to watch Nouvelle Vague with my friend. They were awesome. Too bad we were a bit late and i didn't get the chance to take good pictures. Fuckwits were insanely annoying. Fuck them.

a place called home. x

2008-12-12T05:17:00.001-08:00

It's recovering time. I'm guessing it's the climate change that brought a lot of other people down to sickness too. I really can't wait to have the new year's break. I've been absent to classes and once I came everything's approaching its deadlines.

I moved to my real room already. Long story short, so I finally moved in to the house that I wanted.

Oh it feels so nice and it is such a relief that I now live in a decent place, with housemates that I actually can interact. Such a pleasant feeling to actually can cook peacefully and shower peacefully without holding to vomit anymore.. Ha! And i get to place all my clothes into a closet too!

*All this time I've been living in a suitcase! Ayayaay*

Rudolf the deer and Sydney? xx

2008-12-03T20:35:00.000-08:00

How's your week, people? Any great plans for new year and x mas?

I was planning on making this small party at my friend's place to celebrate Christmas. We don't actually celebrate it, but It's fun to dress up and have fun for other people right?

I'll be dressing up as Rudolf the deer hhehe, and we just couldn't resist the Christmas shopping , too much fun. I mean, who could right? haha

I'm planning on spending my new year in Sydney, again. This time I'm planning on spending it with my dearest friend Lina. She's so sweet by offering me a place to stay. This isn't set yet, well I'm still thinking, but I really want to spend my new year off Melbourne. So Sydney is definitely a destination. And photo shoots, baking cakes, girl talks and walking around Sydney at night are the great plans.

I've been posting some of my newest photographs, but I don't think people are around my gallery lately. I must say I honestly think my deviantart has been completely dull and unmotivated. Owh well. I need improvements I guess.

oceania

2008-11-16T19:29:00.001-08:00

i drowned deep down the oceania,

i feel like going home under the sea.

fancy my blanket much?

2008-09-28T21:49:00.000-07:00

Power nap. I dreamed for a while. Your shoulder my head was laying on, your masculine musk, lust.

jurassiclone

2008-09-27T01:39:00.000-07:00

You, in a form of a nonsense mind

in a package of a sensible bones sniffing around me

where are your prays? Did you sniff em' somewhere near?

your crumply skin surfaces and the familiar sneers

what could've happened if they don't exist?

you, might not exist in return.

Are you real? are you just another classic Jurassic myths as my bedtime story?

Did you ever appear clear in the middle of the night sky,

up high, lovingly observing your dinner from a distance from the top of that very Jura mountain, where you used to live

In the era where stones and all the rocks beautifully took place as your private territory

I would lie down, with my telescope and a cup of raindrops just to wait up all night so that i can see how you roar and scream out to the world, letting them all know you're the strongest

Oh how i love how the sweats ran down your chin, your strong heavy black silhouette appeared in between caves, having your pray ripped all bloody under your muscly left foot

ready to eat, served all wet and tangy

My mind went all wild and sour.

You are a seductive creature.

deja vu?

2008-09-18T22:32:00.001-07:00

I've been having deja vu lately. I don't like deja vu's, it makes me think hard and i can feel my brain is hurting real bad, my heart beats three of four times harder and it makes me jump around in my head trying to figure out when did that moment happened. Interesting though, i found myself doing rapid rewinds of my past, all of the sudden I'm in this movie theater with only me watching the screen, and what's shown in the screen was only myself. I was watching myself, facing the other way around, and watching something else. Confusing? tough, my brain is rock hard and it

could possibly melt in no second when i brainstorm.

Brainstorm? no, it wasn't a learning studies class activity.

It's how i put myself in the vision of someone else seeing me, am i right?

I might be wrong though. It's critically weird, how you picture yourself as someone else and pretend like you're talking to or seeing... me. Me in a form of someone else. AYH!! Confused more!

...

Anyways, where was i.. Oh, deja vu, brainstorm, yea. So the second i found the moments and zap!, that second when you see a change in moment with the actions blend with the things you see and what's around you, who're you with, what kind of fragrance you smelled, that very moment, was rewinding in your mind, and you're thrown away to this one cut scene in the past, and you see or feel resemblances.

It sometimes reminds me of how does it feel like to have a twin.

Aih, never mind, I'm sure not making any sense right now.
I'm babbling, I'm babbling. Shoot me already. -.-''